Article By: Bobby Gilmore

In the new century, the cliche military command “Left, left, left right left!” has been backed by the likes of lyrical powerhouse Beyonce to tell any trifling, low-down brotha exactly what direction they can shuffle if they refuse to change their Tiger Woods ways. The shapely vocalist unconventially reminds us, “To the left, to the left, to the left”; its painful reminder echoes like a winded conversation by the water cooler.  Beyonce and her brigade of empowered female listeners aren’t messing around in the 21st century. They are intelligent. They are single. They are woman. And if you come to the field unprepared or trippin, you’ll leave in a body bag.

Boys II Men and Brian McKnight came to our rescue on the battlefield  in the 90s with “Ill Make Love to You” and “Back at One” respectively. A decade prior Michael Jackson moonwalked and simutaneously fired back against those trying to give a brotha a baby-daddy case with “Billy Jean”. We’ve come a long way over the years men, but we are being held hostage under the magnifying glass in 20-10 and the sun is hot.

This weekly column will be  for the common dude who goes to school or work, pays the rent on time, and is tired of being a pawn in the chess match of love. The good guys deserve a battle cry in the 20-10 too. So gents, strap on your army fatigue hard hats, lace up your camo-themed timbos, and grab your notepads — we going to war and I’m going to give you the ammunition needed to survive on this unforgiving battlefield of love.

WEEK 1

“AAAteeeenhut!”

Lesson one: Having the Self-Awareness to Confront Yourself

Webster defines the term self-awareness as “aware of one’s self, including traits, feelings, and behaviors”. In essence, to have self-awareness is to truly understand who you are, what sets you off, what turns you on, and what makes you different from the next man. Knowing, truly knowing, who YOU are is critical in your battleplan prep months or even years before you dare attempt to step foot onto the frontlines of dating.

Learning to have a self-awareness means confronting you. I mean looking in the mirror and having the audacity to examine yourself. Asking yourself, “why do I do what I do? Am I correct in the things that motivate me? What are my weaknesses? What are my strengths?” Most men never make it past bootcamp because they refuse to have the discipline to mature their self-awareness. These troops inevitabely live their lives on the injured reserve, bitter, confused, and alone.

You must confront yourself because you cannot get away from yourself. You cannot escape yourself. It doesn’t matter what salary you earn or what car you drive or what home you live in because ultimately you have to live with YOU. Allow yourself, my brotha, to be single. Allow yourself to have a movie night with you. Spend time excersing and improving yourself physically and do the things that stimulate you mentally. In esscence, Before you make it your business to jump into a relationship you have no business in, make it your business to learn about YOU.